Future History

History Buff, Trekkie, Star Wars Fan, Whovian, Hunter, Browncoat, Writer, Snack Slinger

Crackerpalooza 2014

Yesterday and Today I delivered over 180 cases of crackers.  Lance Homepack is currently on BoGo in Food Lion and as a result I was setting up displays yesterday and today.  By far the product that I saw the most of was Lance Toastchee crackers.  I hate crackers now, crackers have ruined my life, I just want to sell chips.  And nuts, so I can have amusingly awkward conversations with the Utz guy along the lines of “yeah, I sell a lot of nuts and crackers to convenience stores” “oh, yeah, your nuts are the only one’s I’ll ever touch.”  Tired, arms sore, and Wise Doodles and Popcorn are on Buy One Get One Free this weekend too.  Did I mention it’s the first of the month? Or that its Tax-Free weekend in Virginia? Fuck.

On the upshot, HUUUUGE check coming my way.





This scene went on to mention ritualized, religious circumcision, right? Right?
He politely informed her that men are subjected to loss of body parts for religious purposes, and she thanked him for educating her on matters she was unaware of.

That’s how I’m going to pretend this scene ended.

I have my doubts, but I’ll pretend that too.

Also, ancient Mayan traditions.  In one ceremony concerning the re-establishment of a temple and for the express purpose of leading the spirits back to the temple, the leader was to lance his genitalia WHILE ERECT mind you, and then BLEED A TRAIL (as in DRAG HIS JUNK) from a ceremonial rock at one end of the village to the temple (and catacomb) on the other side.

And a source you can look up for it “A Forest of Kings: the Untold Story of the Ancient Maya” by Linda Schele and David Freidel

(Source: thenailp0lish)


Book Quotes: - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
"Oh I can’t wait to see McGonagall inspected,” said Ron happily. “Umbridge won’t know what’s hit her.” 

McGonagall is the Queen of Sass. All Hail McGonagall.

(Source: excepttheeyes, via buckyoujames)


lol this whole trend of being mad at white people is so fucking funny. like yes, by whining about shit on tumblr, everything is going to drastically change. y’all need to rethink your priorities and do something with your lives


(via whittneydoll)

Khans of Tarkir Block Speculation





Venser is still dead

Elspeth too. 


This is exactly why we’re bad people.

Nah, Venser is “Dead” Dead, while Elspeth is “Theros” Dead which given Theros’ version of the underworld isn’t really all that dead. I foresee her coming back as a “Returned” Planeswalker before long.


help my collection is worth so much money but I don’t want to sell it

I could always use donations…






The Scars of Mirrodin block gave us the ‘moving art’ trailers.

Innistrad started conveying stories with its them.

DOTP 2013 gave us Bolas. That’s it. (Seriously though, that trailer has a special place in me for some reason.)

Return to Ravnica gave even more expressive trailers.

Theros and…

the Trailer better be just like 3 minuets of that one Khan Punching a bear. I’d be more than ok with that.

So what is a Khan? Is it like a clan or just one dude?

It’s one dude. Helmsmasher is one. Four others exist.

A Khan is a leader of a Clan, normally it would be a leader of a Khanate, or a great horde.  I guess Tribe works too.

Personally I’m hoping for some heavy Mongol influences in this set, and possibly a legendary land or artifact that functions like Coalition Victory (uniting the clans/tribes/khanates)



I am seriously considering cosplaying Sarkhan.


Why do I have an affinity for planeswalkers with thick outfits.

do it! I’d love to see someone with your talent pull this off

If anyone does this remotely accurately it is going to be HIDEOUSLY expensive.